So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
