I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Your shirt... Was in my pants
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
