So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
