So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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