Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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