are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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