When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
