You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
