since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
should my penis look like a turkey
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
