what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
