I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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