We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
