Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
