I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
