i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
