He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
