he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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