he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
