How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
