Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
