Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
