trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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