Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
