Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
