you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
