There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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