dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
