We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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