You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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