it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
