fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I hope mine doesn't look like that
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
