We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
