in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
