summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
