"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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