Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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