Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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