went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
How does one acquire holy water?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
