garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I had to cum in my sink.
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