i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
