i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
