Kiss
Puke
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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