Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
