3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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