went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
