fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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