So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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