Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
