how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
