Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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